Things Pixie Is Not Allowed to Do As An X-Man

[dorksidefiker]

Title: Things Pixie Is Not Allowed to Do As An X-Man
Author: dorksidefiker
Fandom: X-Men
Table/Prompt: Table 3/20. Obvious
Character/Pairing: Pixie
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 435
Summary: There are things Megan is no longer allowed to do.
Authors Notes/Disclaimer: Based once more off the Skippy List.



1. Not allowed to go out with Northstar and Dazzler unsupervised.
2. Not allowed to dust Wolverine.
2a. Not even if someone pays me.
2b. Especially not if that someone is Iceman.
3. Not allowed to hang out with Iceman unsupervised.
4. Northstar is not proper supervision.
5. Not allowed to dust Ms. Frost.
6. Not allowed to dust anyone outside of combat.
7. Not allowed to lock Northstar and Iceman together in a closet.
7a. Not even if Aurora pays me
7b. Or if Northstar’s boyfriend pays me, for that matter.
8. Magic is not a toy.
9. No matter how mad I am at them, I am not allowed to cast spells on Magik, Cannonball, or Sunspot.
10. Not allowed to help Anole with his love life in any way.
11. Not allowed to have a familiar. Especially not a kitten that hacks up brimstone scented hairballs.
11a. No, not even if it is the most adorable kitten ever.
12. Not allowed to cheer Nezhno up.
13. National pride has it’s place. Like when football is on TV. Not when dealing with the members of Excalibur.
14. Not allowed to call American Football ‘fake’.
14a. Even if it is.
15. No bringing up the villainous history of Magneto or Ms. Frost. Or any other X-Man, for that matter.
16. I am not the fairy overlord of the squirrel people.
16a. I am not the fairy overlord of ANYTHING.
17. Not allowed to become Squirrel Girl’s sidekick.
18. Not allowed to declare war on England.
19. Not allowed to declare war on America.
19a. Not allowed to declare war on anywhere or anyone.
20. There are to be no more rains of frogs.
21. Mr. Summers’ clothes are to remain on Mr. Summers’ body.
22. Not allowed to join those kids from LA.
22a. Not even of Chase is hot.
23. Not allowed to run away and join the Young Avengers.
24. Not allowed to join Alpha Flight.
25. Not allowed to join Excalibur.
26. Not allowed to become a super villain.
27. Not allowed to cast spells on any anti-mutant public figure. It looks bad.
28. No zapping any Wakandans for being mean to Nezhno.
29. Not allowed to threaten people with black magic.
30. Not allowed to turn people in to toads.